Short jokes
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
I'm stumped.
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.