Short jokes
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
I sat down and wrote a joke.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.