Web

Web Jokes

Google

I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?

KGB

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Orphan

Why can’t orphans use computers?

Because they don’t have a homepage.

Orphan

I made a website for orphans.

Unfortunately, it doesn't have a home page.

Orphan

Why do orphans suck at web design?

They don’t know what a home page is.

Spider

What did mommy spider say to baby spider?

You spend too much time on the web.

Spider

Why don’t spiders go back to school?

Because they learn everything on the web.