Short jokes
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
"1v1 me bitch!"
Your nan is gay.
din mamma
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,
Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.
Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?
Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.