Short jokes
Bum.
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
Long hair Danny, the fanny.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
His girls clapped, BTW. 😬
Dan, I'd bent.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Beach whales.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.