Short jokes
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Akeld." "Akeld who?" "Assfeild!"
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
Leo: Mom?
Mom: Yes!
Leo: Is rape good?
Mom: NO!
Leo: Good cause I raped someone!
Mom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?
Tess: No!
Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!
Tess: Oh!
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
I had sex, but ended up going "uuyaahh!"
Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.
Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
What protects clowns from the sun?
A bozone layer.
Why are grapes never alone?
Because they hang out in a bunch!
What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?
The cops had to comb through the area.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.