Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
Short Jokes
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
"1v1 me bitch!"
Your nan is gay.
din mamma
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
