Short jokes
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
What is this thing with Alya and Alex?
Alya, do you have Discord?
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!
Walmart (DYM 73).
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.