Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
Short Jokes
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Why do orphans prefer trucks? Because, unlike their parents, it is different.
What can't a sniper say to his wife?
"I missed you."
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
No scope, bitch!
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
I was gonna go to a shooting gallery, but I realized that schools aren't open on Sundays.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
