Short jokes
Villager: KNOCK KNOCK
Steve: Who's there?
Villager: I'm not talking anymore.
Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?
Why did the sheep die? Cos he wasn’t pretty enough.
My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
I need to speak to Water Sharky.
Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!
I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
Johnny, make a joke. The joke is you because Little Johnny has a sense of humor because you're an idiot.
Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!
What's 2+2? FORE-head.
I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
Iceberg: You may know me.
Titanic: You are a sucker.
Iceberg: You hit me.
Titanic: Moron.
Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!
Titanic: I don’t give a shit.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.