Short jokes
Explain bear.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.