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Loud explosion inside the tank

“Where’s the commander?” “He’s gone.” “Where has he gone?” “All over the place.”

They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f… altar boys

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda’s (Commanders) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. “All I wanna do is Candle you”

(Lexa and Clarke from ‘The 100’ [ #LexaDeservedBetter ] R.I.P. Lexa…)

Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

Why do Pirates say “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” ? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: “The canons be ready Captain!” “Are” says the Captain (correcting their grammar) “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!” they all exclaimed !!

Their was a enemy with a machine gun. My commander said “Un-arm the enemy”. So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.