Short jokes

What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?

I don't know! I don't care!

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.

What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?

"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.

I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

Why do people enjoy orphan jokes! Lol... I LOVE IT >:)

"Welcome to the gulag."

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

I want to fight! LET'S FIGHT!!!

When you are in the legendary chest in Fortnite and no golden scar rage.

Every Cobra Kai joke that was made, it's just me.