Short jokes
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
I dislike the UK with a great taste.
What is George Floyd's favorite song?
"Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD.
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.