One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Short Jokes
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
