UK jokes
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
I dislike the UK with a great taste.
America and UK are a joke.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.