UK

UK Jokes

Meme

Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.

Chess

Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?

The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.

Crime scene

What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?

Returning to the scene of the crime.

Road

Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."

England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."

Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."

9/11

If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?

Suicide

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

Chess

Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.

Chess

Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?

Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.

Department

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Yo mama

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

Stereotype

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖

Chess

Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen and two towers.

Bomb

Know the nuclear bombs of the world.

🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb

🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”

🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb

🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing

🇮🇱🧨 what bomb

🇮🇷🧨 just self defence

Egg

Why was the egg runny?

Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.

Boyfriend

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.