Short jokes

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.

This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

What is mad cow disease?

Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?

Because they won't be there to stick around.

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.

I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?

A donation team.

I'm about to say this but.....

*whentheimposterissus*