Short jokes
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Brazil is a joke.
Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.