My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
Do you want to hear a dark joke? Let me turn the lights off.
Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
IBC.
IBC who?
I'll be seeing you later.
Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
