Short jokes
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
What is a skeleton’s favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
Who is king of the pencils?
The ruler!
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰