Short jokes

What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

To make up her mind.

What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?

"Like ur cute g."

The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.

Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"

What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?

Barlos.

What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?

The prisoner.

It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

You.

You who?

Who do you see over there???

My bully: Your face is ugly.

Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.

My bully: :(

Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!

Father's Day is a dad joke.

Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!

I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!

Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!

What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?

The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

What is red, white, and blue all over?

A dead cop.

They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.