Short jokes
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
Gay people would suck at war.
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
Why'd I cum all over your mummy's panties? 'Cause she's hot af.
LOLOLOOLOLLOL
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Why does Tesco like midgets?
Every little helps.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why is falone mentally disabled?
Who knows, and quite frankly, who cares?
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."