Short jokes
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"