Short jokes
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
Your hairline is the road to Eastern Cape.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What do Pac-Man and Olaf have in common?
They are both gay.
I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
What is Puss In Boots' favorite boot brand?
CAT!
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer? Because she's a girl.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.