Short jokes
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
You're more uglier.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.