Short jokes
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.