Short jokes
Why did Hitler go for handicap?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?
Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
#shorts
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
Things we all do:
Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣
I do this too often!
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.