Shooting jokes

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?

Because they practice at the best schools.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

Pro lifers: End abortion!!!

Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.

What is a school shooter's favorite animal?

A Desert Eagle.

Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

"I guess orange is the new black."

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.