Shooting jokes
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y