Shit jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Answer: Tequila
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"
Shit.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!" The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.