Shit Jokes

What does the 14 year old and the fetus inside her have in common. They both say, "Ohh sh*t my mom is going to kill me."

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common? When the rubber snaps they both end up in the shit! 💩

Alfonsos mom is so fat. That she stepped on the scale and the doctor sayd “oh Shit thats my phone number!!!”

Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo. KId: Why? Dad: I clean up animal s hit at a zoo.

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website anyone can fake to be someone there not and no one will know the goddam difference I’m just trying to look at/make jokes and I’m getting shit from people saying “it’s too offensive” or something like goddam just take that shit somewhere else

During this covid shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on. Should you be scared or dumb bastard is that just your boyfriend..

A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones

A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit

A man gets an email from his doctor

"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tommarrow"

The man thinks to himself "oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"

What do you get when you cross a priest with toilet? Holy shit.

What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?

When my laptop crashes, I give a s***

What's red green and smells like shit

...Red and green shit

GO ON THE QUINTILLIONAIRE MORNING ROUTINE NOW!

1. Wake up 2. Take a shit 3. Eat 4. Get out of bed 5. Have breakfast

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

I am having a shit and there nothing else to read

Me: *makes chuck norris meme* Internet: *all the other memes are dead now* Me: well shit.

Women are like the twin towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.

Why did an Indian cross the road? To take a shit

Shit I’m never gonna try commit suicide again ,I almost died

what do youuuuuuuuuuu OH F*** Y MOM IS GANNA KILL ME MY SHIT IS STUCK ON THE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF***************************************************************