Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen here, you silly goose. Your brain must be as smooth as a bowling ball if you think this is clever. The joke is that Alfonso's mom is so fat that when she steps on a scale, the numbers are so high, it looks like a phone number. Doctor didn't actually mistake her weight for his digits, he was just shocked at how HUGE she was. Get it now, dummy?