Shit jokes

Kris

Damn this shit!

Megan Thee Stallion: What!

Kris: My mother is a fucker!

The whole world:

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?

They all produce horrible shit.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

Ahhhhh shit! IT’S HUNTING SEASON y’all!

What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"