Shit jokes

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...

What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.

What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.

What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.

Roses are red, my toaster too,

Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?

Kris

Damn this shit!

Megan Thee Stallion: What!

Kris: My mother is a fucker!

The whole world:

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.

You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?

Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.

A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.