A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
a girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says suck my dick and ill buy you a dress and she does it and says to him dad your Dick tastes like shit and he says yeah your brother wanted a car
i kicked the shit out of little johnny
why did the chicken cross the road? whos gives a shit i wanna know how it got the car started
God: “Steven join us” *sees the staircase to heaven* Steven: “shit”
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty and now they have a daughter
Secret Jill didn’t go in the shit yet jack went in first and died :D
JoE mAmA sO FaT ThaT whEn sANtA cAmE tO OuR HoUsE hE sAiD " hO hO hOLy sHiT, sHe dAmN ThiCK - - " .v.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common? Miss by few inches and you’re in deep shit.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip? "Want me to pack your shit?"
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
what comes in and comes out but you should never miss it
any ideas
SHIT !!!!
whats green and smells like joemama? shit from a cock
My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
Engineer: I know engineering and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first. The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his shits already packed.
What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1
What is brown and sticky
The left overs of the iceberg
Youre mama so ugly, When Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said,"HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What it the toughest part of the human body? Anal hair, all shit that they go through.
