Shit

Shit jokes

Woman

    • Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.

  • 6

    • Drama

    • Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

  • 7

    • Asshole

    • You don't need brains to be a Boss.

    When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

    The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

    The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

    Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

    Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

    Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

  • 0
    • Shit memes

    Race

    • Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

    What is the order of finish?

    1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

    2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

    3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

  • 7

    • Robin

    • More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.

  • 0

    • Creeper

    • Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?

    Mom: Shit, I don't know...

    Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

    Dad: That's my boy's!!!

    Fire

    • "Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"

  • 0

    • Zone

    • I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"

  • 1