Your mama is so nasty. She showed up to red lobster with her own crabs.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah witness had sex with me so hard she turned to Christianity
Someone ask the former 2016 presidential candidate Hilary Clinton why did she lose the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hilary Clinton said because someone ask her what would she do for a Klondike Bar?
I told my mom do you want to see a magic trick she said yes. I said you are going to have hot dog and cream pie together. My mom said no I'm not, but I told my mom I'm going to need your assistance. First I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attach to me which she did, the next minute my mom has a cream pie over here face. Then I told my mom you see you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together. Then my mom said when you are you right you are right.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister is it true that you gave my friends a blowjobs. She sad yes. My sister ask me do you want one, I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow just like my friends it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As a older brother I couldn't be more prouder.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did it caused me to lose 4 inches.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard, the genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes but under 1 condition." "What is it?" she asked. "After I grant your final wish you have to have sex with me," the genie replied. "Okay for my 1st wish I wish to be the Prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty. "For my 2nd wish I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town. "And you final wish?" the genie asked. "I wish i had a sabertoothed vigina."
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you. She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk
I used to date this girl only to find out she’s guy. I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head? So she claims to be
And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights
Your mom is so ugly, that she use Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Your is so ugly, that she made a mirror shatter.
Your mom is so dumb, that somebody told her 'go get a life', she go play Super Mario, and get an 1-up.
Your mom is so dumb, that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom is so stupid, that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
