Shes jokes
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."
Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.
Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.
Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.
Mom: Well, it’s my house.
Little Johnny: Then go clean it.
Mom: Go to school!
At school:
Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.
Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.
Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.