Shes jokes
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.
Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.
A burglar breaks into the home of a weapons engineer. He wants to steal some of his weapons from his strictly secured chamber. When he breaks in through the window to go into his weapons cellar, he realizes that the inventor is at home and heard him from upstairs.
The burglar shouts, "Hands up, there is no escape!" The engineer shouts, "What do you want from me?" The thief answers impatiently, "Well, what do you think? I know what you're hiding here. Get me entry to your armory, right away!" "Never in my life will I do that!" The burglar pulls out his pistol, "Either you let me in, or you go for it!"
"Well, I'll give up, I'll give you my guns. Please don't shoot me." The burglar grins gleefully, "Thank you." "I even have a gun here that I've been working on lately. You can have it." The burglar then thinks and grunts, "Okay, before you open up, you'll show me this first!"
The inventor says, "It's shooting plasma. You can test it on one of my practice goals that I've made while I'm unlocking," and points to a side room where various dummies with targets are set up. The burglar walks into the room with the targets, focuses on the red dot in the middle of the disc, and pushes off. But the gun does not fire plasma or at the target. Instead, the gun fires a bullet at the burglar. This causes him to bleed to the ground.
The engineer behind him began to laugh, "Hahaha! I knew you were falling for it! This is not a plasma gun at all; this is my latest invention, especially for burglars like you: the backward-shooting pistol."
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.