Shes

Shes jokes

Mama

  • Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

    (Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

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  • Marriage

  • You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

    Yo mama

  • Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

    Wife

  • My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

    I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

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  • Mama

  • Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.

    Man

  • If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.

    If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.

    If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.

    Girl

  • Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

    A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

    Height

  • I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

    And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

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  • Girlfriend

  • My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

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  • Wife

  • "My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

    "Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

    "She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

    "You getting kicked out, bro?"

    "Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

    "Is she one of them woke bitches?"

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  • Rape

  • What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

    She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

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