Shes jokes
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Your mum is so fat, flat earthers think she's round!
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama has slept with so many guys, she's starting to look like one.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Yo mama so fat...
She's the iceberg who sunk the Titanic!
Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!