During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson she kicked herself in the testicles...
Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions...
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan the result was 404...
Daveon says "Oh wow, she's so beautiful." The doctor then says. "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states "Give me the one my wife made then!"
I ran into a fat woman today she said next time don’t hit me. I said I don’t think I have enough gas to go around. Then the ground start to rumble with every step she took
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory, one day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station,I told her so you can weigh yourself on the truck scale.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift...
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa...
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped the rapist was the one getting PTSD...
Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY
Leo must be a PARKING TICKET... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? Nothing she was hung over
A blind man walks into a woman’s bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says before you tell your joke you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols, do you still want to tell that joke cowboy. He thought for a second and said not if I have to explain it five times.
Maybe Leo actually ISN’T stupid... maybe she just has BAD LUCK with thinking
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
Leo is like a CLOUD... when she DISAPPEARS, it's a beautiful day
My sister is so stupid she thought LBJ was a blow job
