She jokes

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.

I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.

Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.

A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.

"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.

"Denise."

"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"

"Tom Junior."

My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.

I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.

How can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?

She can clean her crack and sell it again.

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

My sister told me a joke.

All she said was "my life."

I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.

Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?

She thought she was black.

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.

Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!

Why do nuns walk in groups?

So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.