She jokes
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
How can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?
She can clean her crack and sell it again.
My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
My sister told me a joke.
All she said was "my life."
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”