She Jokes

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”

My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.