Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
She Jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thought Bruno Mars was a planet!
She really wanted a boner.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slicker hair back she looks 15.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Yo mama so fat,
she fell off BOTH sides of the bed!
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
