She jokes

Mama

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

Birthday

What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!

Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.

Mama

Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

Author

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Whale

What did one male whale say to the other male whale?

"She's gonna blow!"

Mama

Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.

Coin

A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

Pedophile

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

Swing

Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Not Stephanie!

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  • Time

    Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

    Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

    Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

    Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

    Bully: How would you know that?

    Me: Because she told me herself.

    Bully: How exactly?

    Me: She's on the phone right now.

    Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

    Me: Told you so!

    Sister

    SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"

    Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"

    Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...

    My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."