Sexuality jokes

But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.

What do renovators and lesbians have in common?

They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?

Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.

Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?

Because all they can do is mandate.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?

A: They couldn’t go straight.

A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"

Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.

What activity do nuns and whores have in common?

Answer: Genuflection.

Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.

Guy: Let's drop the soap.

Girl: Let's do it!