Sexuality jokes

The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy, but in the end, Jack got a face full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.

What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.

Girls Are Yummy Stupid

Are Really Erectable

Tasty Honey Ejaculable

Booty Everything Sucking Titties

Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D

Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"

"My penis."

JFK is definitely a bottom.

Where is an elephant’s penis?

On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.

Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.

The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.

Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.

After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."

Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.

Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"

What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!

Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

A boner.

If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?

Batman has no one to call "daddy."

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."