Sexuality jokes

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?

I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because Jill's real name is Randy, and she had no candy, just he gave Jack a handy.

My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.

What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?

Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.

Can you go as a horse for Halloween?

Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!

I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.

It really gave me a hard time indeed.

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

I love big hot sexy men.

Why can’t an orphan be gay?

Because they have no one to call “daddy.”