Sexuality

Sexuality Jokes

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?

I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because Jill's real name is Randy, and she had no candy, just he gave Jack a handy.

My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.

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I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.

It really gave me a hard time indeed.

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)