Sex Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

How do you tell when your wife is dead?

The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

My dick while I'm doing it.

"Jack and Jill run up the hill to have sex but in a text a sibling sayed I’m on a hill sleeping with a mex. foursome peace love and biches."

I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.

The image shows a poster titled "Bad Habits" depicting a boy engaging in various undesirable behaviors. The poster is divided into twelve panels, each illustrating a different bad habit such as disrespecting parents, not doing homework, smoking, dacoity, dealing heroin, unprotected sex with prostitutes, insider trading, arms trading, stem cell research, war crimes, running an illegal abortion clinic, and not washing hands before meals. Each panel includes a small illustration of the boy with a label for the bad habit, both in English and Hindi. The bad habits portrayed escalate from minor misbehavior to serious illegal activities.

My dick.

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.

What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?

Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...

There are only two genders.

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.