Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
Sex Jokes
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.
When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.
Then it clicked.
"Ah, so that's how you died."
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
cock, cock, and cum
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
