Sex jokes

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.

She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

Penis ➕ ➕ ➕ 🕳

inside 🚹 🚹 restroom

equals 😋 🍌 🍌 🍌 inside

glory 🕳

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Barney-1 2 3 what number comes next?

Barney-that’s right it’s penis!

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

Little Johnny walked to his parents' room. They were having sex, and Little Johnny didn’t know what that was, so he said, "What are y’all doing?"

The parents replied, "Umm, r-rapping presents!"

Little Johnny said, "Okay," and then left. In the morning, Little Johnny opened his presents. His parents said, "This one is from Santa!"

Little Johnny said, "No, it’s not, y’all said y’all were rapping the presents."

The parents said, "Ohh fuck!"

Little Johnny replied, "What, Mommy and Daddy?" They replied, "Oh, nothing!" "Oh, okay," Little Johnny said. The mom whispered in the dad's ear, "At least he doesn’t know the truth."

Little Johnny said, "What truth?"

Wait, this is the category "dick." Sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up.

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"

Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.