Sex jokes
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What's long, hard, and full of semen?
Answer: Me.
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
I like penis in my bum!
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
Getting ready for gangbang.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.