Sex

Sex jokes

Wife

  • It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.

    Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.

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  • Postman

  • Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."

  • 1
  • Cucumber

  • A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

    Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

    Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

  • 0
  • Hormone

  • So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

    Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

  • 1
  • Sister

  • How do you know if your sister's on her period?

    Your dad's dick tastes funny.

    What's worse than fingering your sister?

    Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

  • 2