Sex jokes
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
Where did daddy cum in the bed?...
Everywhere!
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Suc my dic
Slob on my knob.
What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?
Putting the diaper back on.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
penis balls cum <3
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
Hmmm.