Sex jokes
Penis penis penis hehe penis penis 🍆🍆
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
cock, cock, and cum
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
I sucked your mom's anus.