Sex jokes
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
penis balls cum <3
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
Memes
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
Dick cheese, booty hole, yellow cum shot, anal shit, dick hole, ass brownies.
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
penis.
I like penis.
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Hmmm.
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.