One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
Today I went to the doctor for a test and he said I have 10 months to live. So later that day I stabbed him to death & the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents. Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour. Judge: But why? Accused: Because I’m an orphan. 🥱🫤
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
A single sentence walks into a bar.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? -- A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
the emo kid's mom went to jail cuz the kid was hung
Messi shiquito...
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair. The man who controls the chair asks for any last words. The prisoner reply’s with: “Can you hold my hand?”
Finish the sentence
Salt and Vi.....
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
whats a dead persons favorite sentence**?I made it
MAN A: ''is google male or female''?
MAN B: ''female because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion''.
Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.” Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...” Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.” Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’"
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word bank in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word Bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
im a human
why did the police play baseball ? Why? He wanted to play cach
The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black." the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. "Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
