Sentence

Sentence jokes

Gun

    • The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

    He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

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    • Orphan

    • Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.

    Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.

    Judge: But why?

    Accused: Because I鈥檓 an orphan.

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    • People

    • Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.

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    • Sentence memes

    Johnny

    • One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.

    No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.

    His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.

    Cancer

    • "I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

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    • Mistake

    • Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"

    Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."

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    • Mother

    • Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

    Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

    Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

    The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

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    • Death Penalty

    • I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

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    • Green Card

    • An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

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    • Doctor

    • Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.

    So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!

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    • Incest

    • The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

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