What's green and smells like joemama? Shit from a cock.
Sense Jokes
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
What has only one sense of style?
An emo girl.
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
